Thursday, January 06, 2005

Wingman night...

I was just sitting at home yesterday afternoon and Jeff called around 5:00 and asked if I wanted to go to the bar with him. He said that the girl that dogged him last weekend was going to be there, and she wanted to talk. I didn't have anything else going on, so I said I would do it. At the bar, we did meet up with his girl, and they talked for quite a while, but she ended up going home around 9:00. Jeff said that she was going to meet up with him again this weekend. He thinks everything is ok, the reason she gave for leaving him last weekend was that she was drunk, and doesn't even remember leaving. I guess it is possible, but I wasn't there, so I didn't see how drunk she really was. I think it was something else, but that's not my problem. I did find out from one of the bartenders that her ex-boyfriend was in town for the holidays, who she still has a thing for. He lives about 2000 miles away, and has gone home now. Jeff didn't seem to bothered by this and is just looking for a little action anyway. I think that he is going to find out later that she wants more than that, and he will have to pay the price later. Of course my job last night, being the wingman, was to distract and entertain her friends and anyone else who got in the way. Well, Jeff has been my wingman many times before, but he owes me for last night. I ended up having to take a rather big girl home last night. Normally I would not have done it, but I was horny, and that was my job. I guess I did get laid so not everything is bad, it is just not something I am proud of, or want anyone to know about. Tonight I will be spending a quite night at home since we will probably be hitting it pretty hard this weekend. The bar we hang out at has a band playing Fri. night, and Sat. Jeff and I talked about a road trip to his home town. Which always means that we will be drinking very heavily...

For those of you who have never seen this, it is definitely worth a read. This is the "Wingmans creed", what good friends do for each other.

Wingmans Creed

There is a man out there.
He waits in the shadows.
He always appears on cue, and rarely fails at his assigned task.
He can blend in with the crowd or become the center of attention.
He's your buddy. Your friend. Your wingman.
Yes, the legendary wingman.

The man who "takes one for the team," "jumps on the grenade," and generally keeps someone else occupied while you're "engaging the primary target." Now, the secondary target isn't always a prize. Sometimes, they're downright scary. You know who they are. The "friend that drove us here." The "we have to leave now" or "we have to get up early" girl. The "if you think you're going home with her, you're sadly mistaken" friend. The "HELLO? We're having a girls' night out here" girl. I'm sure you get the idea. Usually, it's some skank who you could care less about, but you have to distract so you can talk to her friend.

This feeds into my long-standing theory that attractive people seek out ugly friends, to make themselves feel even more attractive. This is how the attractive folks then become the leaders of these little groups. But they also use the not-as-attractive friends as human shields, practically screaming: "If you want me, you'll have to find matches for my band of "girl-goyles".

Enter the wingman. Selfless beings, wingmen are generally just happy to be there for you. Some wingmen even find joy in playing decoy. Guys and gals, we've all been there. You spot the one you want across the crowded room. Then, out of fear, shyness, or sheer cowardice, you can't bring yourself to walk up to the object of your affection alone. Walking up to a crowd of guys (or girls) to talk to only one of them is rarely a winning proposition. So, you walk over with your winger. Hell, sometimes I've been known to take a whole squadron. Sometimes, you're the winger. Whatever. You strike up a conversation. You move in. The winger covers your six. It's a beautiful thing. And you can never predict how your mission will turn out. Sometimes, the wingman does better than you. Sometimes the human shields are more appealing than the primary target. Sometimes, you get shot down. Sometimes, your wingers get shot down and you have to abort because you lost your cover. And of course, sometimes the mission is a success.

There are many who sit in the hallowed halls of flight history for acts of sheer bravery-going above and beyond the call of duty-doing the equivalent of a kamikaze. Yes, I mean taking the secondary target home. A moment of silence for those brave, brave wingers. Oh yeah... I almost forgot...sometimes you fly right into a heavy combat zone, where she was good looking from afar, but far from good. Definite mission abort. And it's not easily done with grace. My best maneuver? Pretend she was someone you thought you knew, apologize, and walk away. But, you ask, who makes the best wingman? This is pretty simple.

A. Ugly friends of your own. You know you have 'em. They're nice, fun, and cool, but kinda lost the lottery on looks. You love 'em to death, but you also know that they're perfect for your mission objectives. It's OK to admit you have ugly friends.

B. Hot friends who don't know they're hot. Be careful, these are the wingers who accidentally blow you right out of the sky. I have several of these in my squadron.

C. Married or dating people. Perfect. These people have nothing to lose. To them, flying wing is "just talking." The key here is having them save the "I have a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband/lover" sentence until the very end of the conversation.

D. Friends who just don't care. 'Nuff said.

And who makes a poor wingman?
A. Dorks.
B. Drunk guy. He'll crash and burn and nip your wing on his way down. You'll end the night as a smoldering heap of what used to be dignity.

For all you single guys out there, copy this and send it to your friends. Then when you try to actually use this technique, you will then find out who your true friends are, and if you have any.


At 1:31 PM, Blogger broomhilda said...

LOL, do you boys actually use this technique?

At 9:52 AM, Blogger The Dating Doctor said...

Thanks for your blog! It is a great outlet from a long day at work!

Keep spreading the good word!!!

At 5:26 AM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

I especially liked the Wingman's Creed. Very funny! :)

At 9:46 AM, Blogger mcog2srfe04zgcj said...

Big News From The Healthcare Industry!!

+++++++++++Current Profile+++++++++++
Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG)
Current Price $0.15
A company with hot new identity solution products
and licenses with over 40 current governmental and
non-governmental contracts in negotiations.

Is this an undiscovered gem priced to go higher!!
Please read the following Announcement in its Entirety and Consider the Possibilities´┐Ż
Watch this One to Trade!

FCPG volume trading is beginning to surge with this landslide Announcement. The value of this
stock appears poised for growth! This one should not remain on the ground floor for long.


Faceprint Global Solutions (FCPG) is pleased to announce that its European partner, Keyvelop, has teamed up with IBM's Partner World Industry Networks to deliver customer software requirement solutions for the international healthcare industry.
With FGS owning the exclusive North American rights to distribute the worlds leading encryption and transmission software developed by Keyvelop, FGS is poised to capture large volumes of sales generated by customers currently using IBM's software in the healthcare and other industries.
With traceability and security now deemed a serious business priority, companies are increasingly focused on employing procedures and controls designed to ensure the authenticity, integrity and confidentiality of electronic records.
"This is a very positive move for FGS and for Keyvelop," said FGS CEO Pierre Cote. "We are very happy about the decision to go with IBM. This is a continuation of the progress made by everyone associated with FGS and its partners."
Buell Duncan, IBM's general manager of ISV & Developer Relations commented, "Collaborating with Keyvelop will ensure that we develop open solutions that are easy to maintain and cost effective for our customers in the healthcare and life sciences industry."
Among other things, this new software technology which is currently being used by a number of European healthcare companies, is used to send any file, regardless of format or size. Encryption keys, evidence of transmission integrity with fingerprint calculation, time-stamping of all actions and status record updating, pre-checking sender and receiver identities, validating file opening dates are part of Keyvelop features.
About FacePrint Global Solutions, Inc.
FGS operates a business, which develops and delivers a variety of technology solutions, including biometric software applications on smart cards and other support mediums (apometric solutions). FGS's products provide biometric solutions for identity authentication and a host of smart card- and biometrics-related hardware peripherals and software applications. Apometrix, FGS's wholly-owned subsidiary, combines on-card or in-chip multi-application management solutions with best-of-breed 'in-card matching' biometrics. Keyvelop's secure digital envelope solution and Apometrix's on-card biometrics work together to produce the winning combination in the fields of security, traceability and identity management. FGS is headquartered in Fresno, California.

The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little known Companies That Explode onto Investor's Radar Screens. This stock will not be a Secret for long. Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!

All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such. We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are not statements of historical fact and may be "forward looking statements." Forward looking statements are based on expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This profile is in no way affiliated with the featured company. We were compensated one thousand dollars from third party (IR Marketing) to distribute this report. Forward looking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Section 17(b), we disclose the holding of FGS shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward-looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is for informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high risk and you can lose your entire investment.

At 7:02 AM, Anonymous ronald heifetz leadership said...

Manaaging time %%desc%% that forcus on goal and plan

At 4:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a holden s stshirt site called Holden Tees. We're a small company and we sell shirts and stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time

-Holden Tees

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Lori said...

I went back and read thru your blog....very interesting....""streaking and sitting on the couch naked"".....So I'm hooked now...LOL

Have a great day!!!!

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Lori said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog cracked me up, the wingmans creed is great.


Post a Comment

<< Home